The Death Readiness Podcast: Not your dad’s estate planning podcast
Why Your Responsible Child Might Be the Wrong Trustee
Episode Summary
What actually happens after a professional trustee takes over a trust and a beneficiary asks for money? In this episode, Jill sits down with longtime friend and trust advisor Alex Fisher for a behind-the-scenes look at how professional trustees actually do the job. They walk through how distribution requests are evaluated, what happens when the answer is no, and why naming the “responsible child” as trustee may come with costs parents don't always consider. They also discuss what professional trustees look for before agreeing to serve, why flexibility matters when drafting a long-term trust, and how an estate plan can adapt when the family, the assets, or the world looks very different decades from now.
Episode Notes
What actually happens after a professional trustee takes over a trust and a beneficiary asks for money?
In this episode, Jill sits down with longtime friend and trust advisor Alex Fisher for a behind-the-scenes look at how professional trustees actually do the job. They walk through how distribution requests are evaluated, what happens when the answer is no, and why naming the “responsible child” as trustee may come with costs parents don't always consider.
They also discuss what professional trustees look for before agreeing to serve, why flexibility matters when drafting a long-term trust, and how an estate plan can adapt when the family, the assets, or the world looks very different decades from now.
What You’ll Learn in this Episode
- What a professional trustee actually does. Alex explains the different roles a trust advisor may play, from working with families on estate planning issues to administering long-term trusts and serving as executor or trustee after someone dies.
- What happens when a beneficiary asks for money. A request for tuition, a car, medical expenses, or home improvements isn't necessarily answered with a simple yes or no. The trustee may review invoices or estimates, the terms of the trust, its investments, previous distributions, and how long the trust is intended to last before making a decision.
- Why having discretion doesn't automatically mean making the distribution. A trustee has to consider not only whether the trust permits a distribution, but whether making it is consistent with the beneficiary's interests, the purpose of the trust, and its long-term financial health.
- How professional trustees make difficult decisions. Alex describes taking distribution requests to a trust committee and how she prepares beneficiaries when she thinks a request might not be approved.
- Why saying “no” can be easier for a professional trustee. When a sibling serves as trustee, a denied request can become personal. A professional trustee can make the same decision without years of family history entering the equation.
- The hidden cost of naming the “responsible child.” Your daughter may be willing to serve as trustee without charging a fee, but that doesn't make the job free. Serving can take significant time away from a career, family, sleep, exercise, and everything else that was already competing for that child's attention. It can also create an emotional cost when the trustee has to make unpopular decisions involving siblings.
- Why a professional trustee and family member can sometimes work together. A co-trustee arrangement may combine professional expertise with the knowledge and personal perspective of someone who knows the family well.
- Naming a professional trustee doesn't necessarily mean they'll agree to serve. The institution may review the trust, the family circumstances, and the assets before accepting the appointment. That's one reason it can be helpful to talk with a potential professional trustee while you're creating your estate plan rather than assuming they'll step in later.
- Not every trustee is equipped to manage every asset. Stocks and bonds may be relatively straightforward, while real estate, mineral interests, farmland, and other specialized or illiquid assets can require additional expertise and resources.
- Why your trust needs room for life to change. A beloved lake house may be the center of family life today. Decades from now, family members may live across the country, insurance may become prohibitively expensive, or the property may no longer serve the purpose you intended. Trust language that is too restrictive can leave a future trustee seeking court approval, and incurring significant expense, to solve a problem you never anticipated.
- What really matters when choosing a trustee. Technical expertise matters, but so do judgment, empathy, communication, and the ability to make difficult decisions while remembering that there are real people affected by them.
Resources & Links
Alex Fisher
Trust Advisor, Regions Bank
Alex shares her perspective and experiences in this episode in her personal capacity and is not speaking on behalf of Regions Bank.
Phone: 615.365.5281
Alexandria.fisher@regions.com
www.linkedin.com/in/alexandria-s-fisher
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rNnZAZUNibU
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