Your parent’s health is declining. The bills keep piling up. Are you legally allowed to step in? In this first Tuesday Triage episode, Jill explains how powers of attorney really work, who can use them, and what you can do now to prepare for your parent’s cognitive decline before it’s too late.
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The Death Readiness Podcast
Episode: 17
Title: How Powers of Attorney Work, When to Use Them, and When It’s Too Late to Get One
Host: Jill Mastroianni (Solo)
Published: July 8, 2025
Jill Mastroianni: (0:00)
Your parent’s health is declining. The bills keep piling up. Are you allowed to step in and take care of things? In today’s first Tuesday Triage episode, I break down how powers of attorney really work, who can use them, and what you need to do now to be prepared.
Welcome to the Death Readiness Podcast. This is not your dad’s estate planning podcast. I’m Jill Mastroianni, former estate attorney, current realist, and your guide to wills, trusts, probate and the conversations no one wants to have. If your Google search history includes, “Do I need a trust?” “What exactly is probate?” and “Am I supposed to do something with mom’s Will?” you’re in the right place.
(00:47) A few years ago, back when I was living in Nashville, one of my neighbors came rushing up to me during one of my pre-dawn dog walks. He was frantic. His mom had dementia and could no longer make decisions for herself, and he wanted my help to get “power of attorney” for her.
But I couldn’t help him. The only person who could grant him a power of attorney over his mom’s affairs was his mom herself—and from what he’d just told me, his mom no longer had the mental capacity to do that.
He was confused about how powers of attorney actually work, and he’s not alone. It’s something that confuses a lot of people.
(01:26) So when I got a question from a listener named Molly about powers of attorney, I knew it was worth talking about. That’s what I’ll be diving into today, on the very first Tuesday Triage episode of The Death Readiness Podcast.
Tuesday Triage is a new weekly series of short, bite-sized episodes where I answer real questions from listeners like you.
In this first episode, I’m answering Molly’s question about using powers of attorney in caring for a parent with dementia. And I’ll share why being proactive in the face of cognitive decline—though it can feel scary—is the best way to support yourself and your family.
If you have a question you’d like me to answer on a future Tuesday Triage episode, just send me an email at jill@deathreadiness.com.
(02:13) Molly’s parents are in their late 70s. Her mother has moderate dementia, and her care needs are increasing.
Thankfully, Molly’s parents already have both financial and healthcare powers of attorney, as well as healthcare advance directives in place.
But Molly wants to know what proactive steps she should be taking now.
Specifically, she asked whether she, as the successor agent on her mother’s power of attorney, should be added to her mom’s bank accounts.
A successor agent is the person named to act as agent if the primary or current agent is no longer able to act.
In Molly’s situation, her dad is the primary agent under her mom’s power of attorney.
Molly’s worried that if her dad predeceases her mom, she won’t be prepared to pay the bills and support her mom.
I love that Molly used the word “proactive.” She’s asking the right questions today to prepare for tomorrow.
(03:12) First, a quick clarification. I know this might sound like semantics, but it’s important: a person is not a “power of attorney.” Rather, a person is an agent under a power of attorney.
The person granting the power is the principal, and the person receiving the power is the agent.
“Power of attorney” also refers to the legal document itself in which the principal grants authority to the agent.
For example, if I sign a power of attorney document giving my husband Jeremy the power to make decisions for me, I’m the principal, and Jeremy is the agent.
To grant a power of attorney, a person must have mental capacity, which generally means they can understand information and make decisions based on that information.
Here’s the good news for Molly: her mom already executed powers of attorney while she still had mental capacity.
But if Molly’s dad is named as the current agent under the power of attorney and he is still competent, then Molly cannot add her name to any bank accounts.
She has no authority to do so because she is simply a successor agent, not the acting agent.
(04:29) That brings up another question: can Molly’s dad add his name, in his capacity as agent under his wife’s power of attorney, to her bank accounts and other financial assets?
The answer depends on two things: (1) the type of power of attorney Molly’s mom signed, and (2) the extent of her dementia.
There are two types of financial powers of attorney: immediate and springing.
An immediate power of attorney takes effect as soon as it’s signed.
For example, the power of attorney I granted to my husband Jeremy is immediate, meaning he can act today to make decisions for me.
It’s helpful because if I become incapacitated, he wouldn’t need to get a formal determination of incapacity to act on my behalf.
But, even while I have full mental capacity, he could use it to, say, sell our house without my knowledge. That’s the tradeoff.
If Molly’s mother has an immediate power of attorney, then her dad can add his name to her bank account as agent under that document.
(05:40) The other type is a springing power of attorney, which only takes effect upon incapacity. For it to “spring” into effect, there must be a determination of incapacity as defined in the document itself.
Often, this means two physicians must sign statements saying the person is no longer capable of managing their own affairs.
Molly described her mom as having “moderate” dementia.
With a springing power of attorney, the question becomes whether her mom’s dementia meets the document’s definition of incapacity.
If it does and Molly’s dad obtains the required documentation of that incapacity, which might be, for example, two physicians signing statements to that effect, then Molly’s dad, can add his name to her bank accounts as agent under the power of attorney.
As for Molly herself, she cannot add her name to any bank accounts until she is actively serving as agent.
If Molly’s dad predeceases her mom, Molly would use his death certificate to prove he is no longer able to serve, and that she is the named successor.
(06:51) If you’re listening and thinking, “I still don’t even know whether my parent’s power of attorney is immediate or springing,” this would be an excellent use of a free 15-minute consultation with me.
I can point you to the relevant sections in the document and help you understand what they mean.
You can schedule that free 15-minute consultation at deathreadiness.com/scheduling. I’ll also include the link in the show notes.
Now, let’s look deeper at the practical side of caring for a parent experiencing cognitive decline.
Even if you have legal authority under a power of attorney, it won’t get you very far if you don’t know what your parent owns or what bills need to be paid.
(07:34) I’m linking in the show notes to important information sheets you can fill out with your parent before their cognitive decline progresses further. These include:
There are also resources for documenting assets and identifying key people in your parent’s life.
You’ll find them linked in the show notes or at the resources tab at deathreadiness.com.
One more critical note: make sure you have access to the original power of attorney document.
If you ever need to sell real estate, the title attorney will require the original document—and they probably won’t tell you that until the night before closing.
(08:37) I know it’s hard to accept that your parents may need more help as time goes on.
But if you’re listening and have been stalling, you know that stalling is hard, too.
It keeps you up at night. As difficult as it is to have these conversations and confront your parents’ fragility, it’s necessary.
I’m so grateful to Molly for reaching out and suggesting today’s topic for this first Tuesday Triage episode.
Being proactive takes courage, and I hope her courage gave you the nudge you need to take the next best step for you and your family.
(09:15) And if your next best step is getting a little more clarity, I’d love to help.
You can schedule a free 15-minute call with me at deathreadiness.com/scheduling.
It’s completely free, and I’m here to support you.
If you have a question you’d like me to answer on a future Tuesday Triage episode, just send me an email at jill@deathreadiness.com.
I’d love to hear from you.
And finally, a big thank you to Molly for sharing her question and helping other listeners in the process.
(09:57) This is Death Readiness, real, messy and yours to own. I’m Jill Mastroianni and I’m here to help you sort through it, especially when you don’t know where to start.
Hi, I'm April, Jill's daughter. Thanks for listening to The Death Readiness Podcast.
While my mom is an attorney, she’s not your attorney.
The Death Readiness Podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
It does not provide legal advice.
For legal guidance tailored to your unique situation, consult with a licensed attorney in your state.
To learn more about the services my mom offers, visit DeathReadiness.com.